This is the story of the village of Random Falls, and its inhabitants trying to get to a fallen star first, to get one wish granted. All this happens after the country was taken over by Homica and Queen JoJo X. Everyone is sad and tries to bring the fun back.
Agent: What? It's COLD!!!
Narrator: Many years ago, there stood the village of Random Falls. It was a town filled with happy inhabitants, including the baker, the butcher, and the candlestick maker...and Cookie, the mime
Agent: Well, no town is perfect!
Narrator: But Random Falls was as close to perfect as possible, what with the randomness and whatnot, except for Cookie that is.
Narrator: This town was located in a picture perfect country called Followstock, which was ruled by 3 benevolent rulers. Everyone loved the rulers, and peace and randomness covered the land. But then, the rulers disappeared and there was a struggle for control in the kingdom. The struggle ended when Homica, the country Followstock declared independence from just a few months ago, took over. The new ruler of Followstock was Queen JoJo X. The population didn't approve and the nation's fortunes declined. JoJo's Fortune grew dangerously low, so she sent out for all citizens to be taxed by her most trusted tax collecter, Baron von (Calista), who was taxing to the extreme.
((Calista) is sitting at a table with a feast on it. A long line of people are lined up)
Old guy: Forgive me Baron von (Calista), but I've got nothing to pay my taxes with, you've taken everything but the clothes on my back!
(Calista): Yes, yes, these are hard times, in fact, its hard for me to keep warm! Yoink! (Grabs the old guy's cane and throws it in the fireplace) Heh heh. NEXT!
Narrator: (Calista) took the randommness out of Random Falls, until the once care-free town was sad and dark. And so our story begins with these angry and sad townsfolk...and a mime, too.
(Cookie mimics a guy pushing a cart, until the guy turns around and bashes his head with a bucket)
Narrator: And three formerly randoms who live on the street ever since the old blog building shut down, Agent, Goldfish, and Saltine.
Agent: Some folks say that life is cruel,
Goldfish: At the blog we had fun without being cool,
Saltine: We stood all day, wearing a shirt
Agent: We went to kuzbain and it didn't hurt!
Goldfish: The place was so random, the friends were awesome,
Saltine: The things that didn't make sense, like shouting out "Possum!"
Agent: They shut down blogs and now we know,
All 3: those were the days, we miss it so,
Saltine: and ever since then <Deep voice> I've been feeling low...</Deep voice>
Agent: Another unrandom morning,
Saltine: And still there's nothing funny,
Agent: My brain couldn't get less boring,
Saltine: Goldy ain't even punny!
Agent: We're so far beneath the boring line, we're off the graph,
Goldfish: Well don't fret friends cuz things'll get better in time, then you're gonna laugh!
1: Boringness and plainness are found here,
Sasquatch: Yeah, looks like we need a jump,
Saltine: There's only one job to be found here,
(Cookie gets run over by a wagon)
Agent: The town needs a new speedbump!
Emylee: Random Falls was a paradise,
6: Randomest place on earth,
Townsfolk: But the tax collector's evilness, took us for all we're worth
(Calista:) My cupboards are overflowing!
Shop Owners: All of our shelves are bare
(Calista:) My hilarity margin is growing
Shop owners: We're bored it seems so unfair
Townsfolk: Life's so lousy, we can no longer cope,
Goldfish: You gotta cheer up, and never give up hope!
Agent: All of the blogs are closing,
Saltine: Things couldn't get much worse
John: Even my nuts are frozen
Kaida: Be careful with that last verse!
Emylee: Hey, step up and try our elixer, it good for what hurts,
6: Whatever ails you, it can fix 'er
Emylee: And its great on desserts!
Hunter: DRAT the temperature's falling!
Tom: I love when the weather is cool!
Hunter: A new ice age is calling
Tom: Look I can freeze my drool!
Hunter: I had hopes and dreams of saving the earth, but here I sit, watching Tom here make ice sculptures,
Tom: Out of spit NARF
Kaida: This old 'site is boring!
John: Our random stuff is gone too
Kaida: So instead, we'll watch some guy snoring
John: All I can say is "Boo!"
Agent and Saltine: As a town we're so down so we mope,
Goldfish: You gotta cheer up, and never give up hope!
Townsfolk: We can't cope!
Goldfish: You gotta cheer up and never give up hope!
Townsfolk: Are you a dope?
Goldfish: Yep! (Agent rolls his eyes)
Townsfolk: Just cheer up, and never ever give up hope hope hope hope hope! Yeah!
Narrator: So the town hoped...And waited...and kept doing that for an entire year. Then time was running out for poor little Saltine, who needed an operation.
Saltine: Cough cough
Narrator: And while Agent stayed behind to look after Goldfish's sister (Wait...), Goldfish went out into the world to seek his fortune.
(Goldfish waves from the train. The train leaves and a cloud of smoke covers Agent and Saltine.)
Agent and Saltine: Cough cough
Narrator: And the town waited for Goldy's return. And so after another year of hoping and waiting, a young boy's aquaintance turned into a best friend.
(Tom walks into a stable.)
Tom: Arrow, Arrow, wherefore art though Arrow?
Tom: Oh, therefore you art! And looky! I brought you a snacky wacky!
(Tom holds out a fish. Arrow eats it)
Hunter: Tom, I need you!
Tom: Whaaaat!? Arrow, I didn't know you could talk!
Hunter: Stop this foolishness.
Tom: You know, Arrow, you sound a little like Hunter...
(Hunter hits Tom in the head)
Tom: And you bop like Hunter too
(Tom turns around)
Tom: Hunter! We were just talkin' 'bout you!
Hunter: I knew I'd find you out here wasting time. Now come!
Tom: But Arrow's my best friend!
Hunter: I thought I was...?
Tom: Arrow's my best animal friend, and you're my best human friend!
Hunter: Tom, that is a pterosaur. You are a human.
Tom: Oh, Hunter, don't be so intolerent! Why can't the Pterosaurs and the people live together in harmony, along with the fairies and the wood gnomes and the bean sprouts?
Hunter: I stand corrected Tom. That is a pterosaur. You are an imbosel.
Tom: Thank you :)
Hunter: Now come, we must prepare for today.
Tom: Why? What are we gonna do today?
Tom: Try to save the world?
Tom: Egad, I LOVE Bingo! Its so much more fun than saving the world!
(Agent and Saltine are sleeping on the train station bench. A train whistle is heard and they wake up. Everyone in town looks that direction)
Agent: Oh the train bringin' Goldfish is-a rollin' down the track!
Saltine: I'm sure that is the train my brother's on!
Townsfolk: Goldfish went to see the world and now he's. comin' back
Saltine: I've missed him every day that he's been gone
LuLu: He went to seek his fortune, and now he's returned,
1: Bringing back the treasures, of everything he's learned!
Saltine: Now the train with my brother is-a comin' closer
Townsfolk singing: Bringing Goldfish, down the oldish, TRAINTRAAAAACK! Chugga chugga chugga
(Train stops, everyone looks in the car)
Goldfish (Pops out): Hi!
Goldfish: My friends of Random Falls, I give you my fortune: a yo' penny! (A yoctosecond is the shortest unit of time, so a yo' penny should be the smallest amount of money)
6: A yoctopenny?
Agent: Its real!
Emylee: He has a whole yo' penny!
Goldfish: I've got a Yo' Penny today!
Agent and Saltine: He's got a yo' penny hooray!
Emylee: How did you earn it?
Goldfish: All work and no play
Saltine: He chopped wood
Agent: He chopped suey
Goldfish: I pitched horseshoes in hay
Agent: He milks jokes and cows for his fee,
Goldfish: It was more than I thought it would be
Shop owners: An entire full year's salary
Goldfish: And now I've got a yo' penny!
Townsfolk: He's got a yo' penny today, He's got a yo' penny hooray!
Agent and Saltine: All those days of hard work, and here's your reward
Goldfish: Now there's nothing in this world that I can't afford!
Saltine: You can buy any toys you pick!
Agent: And eat candy until you're sick!
Random French Dude: Plus a gourmet meal for monsieur!
Agent and Saltine: And still you'd never be poor!
Townfolk: Because he's got a yo' penny today, He's got a yo' penny hooray!
Goldfish: A watertower shanty we can finally repair, I can even buy my best friend some new underwear
(Agent gives a quizzical look at Goldfish)
Goldfish: Its like I've won the lottery!
Townsfolk: Because he's got a yo' penny!
Goldfish: I'll buy burgers at the butcher's, blintzes at the baker's, groceries at the grocer's, season tickets for the lakers!
Emylee: You can buy my new elixer,
6: You can buy it by the bucket!
Saltine: There's just one little problem,
Agent: It's lousy you should chuck it.
Goldfish: Its so hard to believe it really happened to me, I'm going shopping with my yo' penny!
Townsfolk: He's going shopping with his yo' pennyyyyyyy!!!!
(Scene shifts to (Calista)'s house)
<Ralph:> Duh, news from the village to report, ma'am.
(Calista:) Whaat is it?
<Ralph:> It seems that some of the townfolks is happy...Not sure why...
(Calista:) What do you mean!?
<Ralph:> Goldfish Darkskull has come into the posession of a yo' penny
(Scene shifts back to town)
Townsfolk: He's got a yo' penny today! He's got a yo' penny hooray! With it he could buy himself a tropical cruise!
Goldfish: But first theirs one important thing that I have to choose. My sister has been ailing quite a lot.
Agent: We don't exactly know what she has got.
Townsfolk: You plan to spend your yo' penny on what?
Goldfish: An operation to save my sister, Salt
Townsfolk: to cure whatever problem she's got! An operation to save his sister, Salt
Goldfish: Its a present, to her from me all because I've got a yo' penny!
Townsfolk: All because he's got a yo' penny! In the village, its not random, he's going shopping, so lets get hopping, he's going shopping wih his yo' penny! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
(Calista:) And we're all thrilled for your good fortune, we really are. Now, about your taxes...?
Goldfish: Taxes? What taxes? And aren't I a little young to be taxed?
(Calista:) Well, lets fill out your tax formas and see. And yes, yes you are. First we total your income and calculate your deductions for the year. How many dependents? Includes city, state, county, and federal taxes including license fees. Oooohhh! That takes you into a whole new tax bracket! The queen will be absolutely delighted!
Goldfish: The queen is a jerk!
(Calista:) Oohhh good! That qualifies you for the "Calling the Queen a Jerk" tax!
(Calista:) Then add sales tax, property tax, stamp, tea, and thumb tax (Thumb tacks), shipping and handeling, multiplied by your shoe size and you owe a grand total of exactly one yo' penny :)
(Calista:) Your federal government thanks you!
Agent: We can't let him do that to Goldfish! Its unfair! We have to stick together and stop him! (Guards surround him) Uhhhhhhh...or not... If you have any questions, (Pulls Cookie in circle of guards) just talk to my lawyer, he'll explain everything!
(Cookie does some mime stuff; guards beat him up; scene shifts to town at night)
1: So much for Goldy's yo' penny, now Random Falls is back in agony
Kaida: Should I, or do you wanna carve?
John: Frankly, I'd just as soon starve
Emylee: I'm starting to feel the stress,
Emylee and 6: Random Falls is yo' penny-less!
(In Agent, Goldfish, and Saltine's "Water tower shanty")
Agent: All right, Saltine, time to sleep
Saltine: Tell me the story.
Agent: Ok, fine. There once was a rapping tomato-
Saltine: Not that story!
Agent: Look its late, go to sleep!
Saltine: But come on, tell me the story. Pweeeeeeez?
Agent: Oh all right. But then you have to try to sleep, ok?
(Agent sits next to Saltine)
Agent: Once a brave knight married a beautiful princess and they had a son. (Goldfish)
Saltine: But they wanted a daughter too.
Agent: Right, so they planted a garden all over the kingdom, and on the first day of Spring, every flower in that garden bloomed. And out of the prettiest flower came-
Agent: Dude, I won't tell you the story if you keep interrupting me. >.>
Agent: Where was I? Oh right. So, the knight and his bride, your parents, took you home. And so, every night at bed time they'd come in and say "Who's the cutest girl?" and you'd say...? (Long pause) Well? What would you say?
Saltine: But you said not to interrupt you!
Agent: Its fine at this part!
Agent: Well? Who is the cutest girl?
Saltine: Oh! I was...and STILL AM!
Agent: Good for you! Anyway, they'd ask "How'd you ever get so cute?" and you'd say...?
Saltine: (Pause) Oh right! I was BORN that way :)
Agent: And they'd say "Tell us your name young lady?" and you'd say...?
Saltine: (Insert incredibly long name here) But you can call me Saltine
Agent: And they'd say "Can we call you Salty?" and you'd say...?
Saltine: N-O Flippin' way! Just Saltine or Salt. Call me Salty and you die.
Agent: And they'd laugh and laugh and laugh! And they'd tickle you! Then you'd laugh too!
Saltine: Hahahahahahahaha *cough* roflmaool!
Agent: And you'd fall asleep with a great big smile in your heart.
Saltine: I like that story :)
Agent: G'night. (Walks away)
Goldfish: How is she?
Agent: Not great. Those acting lessons never really paid off...
Goldfish: !? No I mean her health!
Agent: Oh, well, who knows.
Goldfish: If I'd only earned more...
Agent: Hey, you did your best, Goldy. We'll pay for her operation some other way
Goldfish: I guess...
Agent: You turnin' in?
Goldfish: To what?
Agent:...good question! G'night
<Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Parody>
Goldfish: Twinkle, twinkle, wishing star, How I wonder where you are, Out in space so bright and clear, Can you see me way down here? (Spoken) Hmm...I wonder... (Sung) Let me pick the star that's right, And pick the wishing star tonight, Like finding a needle in a haystack, Eenie, meenie, minie, Moe and Jack, Wishing star, please hear my plea, Grant one wish, one wish for me.
(Star he picked starts to glow green and seems to be getting bigger)
Goldfish: Uh oh...did I break something!?
(Green light floats into the room Goldfish is in)
Goldfish: Who are you?
(Brennan and Brendan step out of the green light)
Brennan: We're your Desire...
Brennan and Brendan: Facilitators!
Goldfish: My whats?
Brennan: Well we used to be called the Good Wizards-
Brendan: -but that sounds SO old fashioned.
Brennan: Plus, if you put Good Wizard on your resume-
Brendan: -people think your crazy.
Brennan: Desire Fulfillment Facilitator sounds so much more...-
Brennan and Brendan: -like a real job.
Goldfish: Oh, I understand.
Brennan and Brendan: So, we're your desire fulfillment facilitators. But everyone calls us Brennan and Brendan.
Brennan: I'm Brennan
Brendan: And I'm Brendan.
Goldfish: Nice to meet you, (Looks at Brendan) Brennan-
Brendan: I'm Brendan
Goldfish: Oh, sorry (looks at Brennan) Brendan.
Brendan: I'm Brendan.
Goldfish: Whatever. (They shake hands)
Brennan: The pleasure's likewise.
Goldfish: ...What pleasure?
Brennan: Oh, I thought you were gonna say "It's a pleasure to meet you"...
Goldfish: ...looking back on it, I probably shoulda...
Brendan: And let me be the first to congratulate you, Goldfish Darkskull.
Brennan: And let me be the second!
Brennan: What? (They're still shaking hands)
Brendan: Out of all the stars in the sky-
Brennan: -you picked the one and only-
Brennan and Brendan: -"Wishing Star"! Hey, no fair, I wanted to say that.
Goldfish: I did!? (They're still shaking hands)
Brennan: Yes. I've-
Brennan: Whatever. We have been waiting centuries for someone to pick the right one.
Brendan: (Nods) Must be this clear country air.
Brennan: Oh yeah! (Goldfish tries everything to get his hand away from Brennan and Brendan. Including a crowbar. Nothing works)
Brennan and Brendan: Look at that!
Brennan: You just don't get visibility like this in the city.
Brendan: Yes, you do.
Brennan: Dude, you've never even been in the city!
Brendan: Yes I have!
Brennan: (Sighs) (Goldfish is still trying to pry himself loose) Anyways-
Brendan: -your request for a wish has brought me here.
Brendan: Hey, you started it.
Brennan: (Sighs) Seriously though, your request for a wish has brought us here.
Brendan: Now you can have any wish you want.
Goldfish: You mean besides wishing you'd let go of my hand?
Brennan: Yes, besides that.
Brendan: No, that counts as your one and only wish.
Brennan: Disregard him. The wishing star is ready.
Brendan: Are you ready to make your wish?
Goldfish: Nah, I'd like to wait and think- OF COURSE I'M FREAKIN READY! I WOULDN'T'VE TRIED TO GET THE FREAKIN WISHING STAR IF I DIDN'T HAVE A FREAKIN WISH!
Brennan: Ok dude, just calm down!
Brendan: So here goes!
(The star shoots across the sky and lands somewhere in the mountains.)
Brennan: Now go make your wish!
Goldfish: What do you mean go?
Brendan: To where the star landed.
Brennan: Wishes have to be made in person.
Brendan: Nah, we're just pulling your leg.
Brennan: (Rolls eyes) No, really, it's in the manual, and I quote "The one who touches the fallen star first gets one wish."
Goldfish: Well that sounds easy enough!
Brendan: Funny, I thought it would land a lot closer. But oh well, (They grab Goldfish's hand to shake it again. Goldfish looks sad)
Brennan: Bon voyage,
Brendan: Have a safe journey
Brennan: And remember...
Brennan and Brendan: You gotta cheer up, and never give up hope!
Goldfish singing: I won't mope! (Brennan and Brendan grab Goldfish's hand again)
Brennan, Brendan, and Goldfish: Just cheer up, and never ever give up hope hope hope hope hope! Yeah! (Goldfish lets go of his fake hand)
Brennan and Brendan: Ciao. (Flies away; Agent and Saltine walk in)
Goldfish: You'll never guess what just happened to me!
Agent: I bet I can. You wished on a star and it fell. Now we have to go way over there to make the wish.
Goldfish: Yeah...how did you know?
Agent: I've seen the movie we're parodying! Duh! It was MY IDEA! (Scene changes to town in the morning)
Agent, Goldfish, and Saltine: We're leaving Random Falls to find the Wishing Star, we're heading off to seek our dream come truuuuue! It's waiting right out there, the answer to our prayer.
Goldfish:A wish for free!
Agent: (Holds up some junk mail) Hey you might be a multi-millionaire
All 3: Thats why we're off to seek our destiny together
Agent: Its one for all,
Goldfish: and all for one,
Saltine: Times threeeeeee!
All 3: Who cares about the stuff we left, we're on our way and we won't be back,
Goldfish: Until we find that star,
Saltine: Gee, it looks kinda far...
Agent: Too bad we don't have a car...
All 3: Oh what they heck, we're on our trek to find the wishing staaaaar! We're leaving Random Falls to find the wishing star, and when we do our troubles are gonna be through, its just around the bend, its where the mountains end, we're packin our load, we're hittin the road, lets sing it together again, hey hey, we wanna be the first to touch the wishing star, we're northward bound, we're leaving town todaaaaay!
Agent: We're takin a stand
Goldfish singing: We're makin a vow
Saltine: This is the place
All 3: The moment is now, For Agent, Goldfish, and Salt, we're givin' it all we got,
Saltine: We're comin' so ready or not,
All 3: Today's the day, we're on our way to find the wishing staaaaaar!
(Music changes; Everyone in town wakes up)
Emylee: Hey, what's up, whats all of this?
Random Person: Goldy, his friend and his sis
Random French Dude: They're gathered 'round in the village square
Random person: They say there's something way out there
LuLu: Something weird and something strange!
Random people: Beyond the farthest mountain range!
Emylee: What are you saying?
6: What do you mean?
Townsfolk: Its something no one's ever seen!
1: Whats the story?
Sasquatch: Whats the fuzz?
Agent: We're about to leave, and thats because
Saltine: We're on our way to the wishing star!
Emylee: The wishing star?
6: The wishing star!?
Hunter: What is that?
Tom: Haven't you heard?
Hunter: There's no such thing, its too absurd!
Kaida: Whats the story?
John: Whats the dish?
Goldfish: Touch the star and you get one wish!
Emylee: You get one wish if you touch the star?
Kaida: Where's it at?
John: Is it way out far?
Saltine: It could well be but we just don't know...
Agent: We'll soon find out cuz we're going to go
AG+S: To the wishing star!
Townsfolk: To the wishing star!
AG+S: Something weird and its so bizzare, it fell to earth from way out far
Townsfolk: They're on their way to the wishing star!
AG+S: The wishing star, oh yes we are, on our way, so we'll say bonsoir, ciao you guys, and au revoir, now we're off to the wishing star,
Townsfolk: Yes its true, those people are, on their way to the wishing star
Emylee: They'll be rich as a king or czar!
Goldfish: I looked up in the sky last night and all the stars were shining bright, I wished I may and I wished I might just have the wish I wished last night!
Townsfolk: He looked up in the sky so bright and he saw the stars up in the night and he wished he may and he wished he might just have the wish he wished last night
Goldfish: Then right there before my eyes I saw a light up in the skies, the wishing star lit up the night and then exploded really bright, it fell to Earth and it came on down in a great big piece that hit the ground and then some fairy said to me, 'whoever gets there first you see, just touch the star, that's all you do, and then you get your wish come true'
Townsfolk: Touch the star, that's all you do, and then you get your wish come true!
Emylee: Wait now, let me get this straight now (Slowly backs away with 6) you mean whoever gets there first can have a wish all to herself!? (Runs into wagon)
1: We have to go now, because we know now, that if I'm the first to touch the star that wish belongs to me! (Runs away with Sasquatch)
Kaida and John: We have to run now, before they're done now, so we can get a big head start and beat the others to the punch! (Runs away)
<Ralph:> I can't be slow now!
Random citizens: We've got to go now!
LuLu: And I have got to get there first because -
Emylee: That wish belongs to me!
Kaida: Belongs to me!
6: Belongs to me!
John: Belongs to me!
1: Belongs to me!
Agent, Saltine, and Goldfish: Me!
(Calista): It all belongs to me! *runs into wagon* Let's roll!
Emylee: We're on our way to the Wishing Star, it could be near or it could be far.
AG+S: But we're gonna get there first you see the one who gets there first will be in a wagon slash boat type thing and on the ring it's gonna fling. It has a sail, looks like a sleigh, look out world we're on our way!
Emylee: Arrow, girl, come on scurry
6: Time to go, we've got to hurry!
Tom: Farewell to my lifelong friend!
Hunter: This creepy friendship needs to end...
Townsfolk: On the road, can't stop us now, through the town the oxen plow!
(Calista): Out of my way you stupid mime! (Cookie gets run over)
Townsfolk: He gets trampled all the time.
AG+S: It's over hill and over dale, sailing down the snowy trail!
Kaida: Through the trees is plenty quick
John: We can go by pogo stick
Hunter: Tom, hey, are you pondering exactly what I'm pondering?
Tom: I think so, Hunt' but just how will we get the weasel to hold still?
TO BE CONTINUED...